The phone rings a lot around here. During the day it is usually someone asking a question about the business. At night the kid gets his turn when his friends call to talk. When the phone rang tonight I automatically handed it to him.

But this time the call was for me. A lady I know was asking me if I know anything about chickens. Sadly, no, I don't know all that much about chickens.

"Well, the thing is, one of our roosters has gone mean and is attacking the kids."

"Hey I do know this much, you shoot it."

She wanted to know if she could eat it. I thought it would be ok as long as the rooster was not too old.

"So, exactly how do you kill a chicken?"

Believe it or not, I know in general how to answer this question. I have even done it, many many years ago.

"Well, you get you a stick of firewood that can stand up on end. You get you a hatchet. You put your chicken in a burlap sack, with the head sticking out. You put the neck on the wood, take the hatchet, and chop it's head off. Then you hold on to the sack, hard."

She took it well. She even asked the next logical question: "What do you do next?"

My experience does not extend to plucking chickens. I am pretty sure it involves boiling water.

The Internet is a big place. If any of my gentle readers has a clue as to how to get the chicken from bag to fryer, please speak up now.

Think of the children.